Living in Community

There are moments in my life that I truly envy the talents and gifts I see in the people around me. I especially envy their gifts when I do not possess them myself. This is all too true when it comes to blogging. My wife just posted a blog that goes far and above any blog that I could write. And the thing that really gets me is, she wrote the blog in like 2 hours....while I was at the gym. Ok, ok. I didn't want to admit it, but I was only at the gym for like an hour. And see, that makes it even worse because she pumped out that blog in an hour.

But I have to admit that I am actually more proud of her than I am anything else. I am proud, and glad, that we do not excel at all the same things. How boring our lives would be if everyone around us was passionate, gifted, and talented in all the same areas. If this were true for me then the world would be full of people who enjoyed sports, Superman and had an unhealthy fascination with cleaning. However, thankfully, this is far from reality. Especially in my marriage. Certainly Laura enjoys sports, Superman and cleaning (I have obviously undersold the vast array of my passions, gifts and talents for the purposes of creating a moderately humorous analogy) but these things do not move her to action. As mentioned above, she has a wonderful writing gift that I adore and am deeply proud of. It is not the similarities in our passions, gifts and talents that define us and help us move forward. Rather, it is our ability to utilize and lift up our differences that help create the building blocks for a powerful and active life together.

It is amazing to me how often people try to "go it alone" on their life journey. And certainly this rings true for many Christians. We have an unhealthy belief that our faith is our own and so our journey must be done on our own as well. There were moments when I actually convinced myself that I had all the answers to my own walk with Christ. I didn't need other people telling me how to walk my faith journey. It was mine after all.

Have you seen the movie "The Way?" It is a story of a man who loses his son on the Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James). He goes to France to pick up his son's remains and ends up walking the Camino in his son's honor. He is filled with grief and pain as he begins his journey but along the way he meets three other "pilgrims" who become his pilgrimage community. Everyone in this four member pilgrim community has separate reasons for walking the Camino de Santiago and all are content to remain allusive as to the truth behind the journey. As the movie progresses we see each member dealing internally and externally with the reality that walking the journey alone will simply not cut it. It is as they begin to discover each other's personal story, passions, gifts, and talents, that they see the truth that the journey is better done in community.

I have become increasingly more convinced of something that I should not have had to be convinced of. And this is simply that following Christ is so much better when done in community. And I am talking about more than simply doing small groups in church to help foster community interaction. I am talking about a holistic community approach.

If you live in the Western world then you live in the reality of individualism. In our culture we cling to our individual rights and abilities to pursue what most drives us, personally. And this individualism has seeped into our understanding of a relationship with Jesus and his church. So often we "go it alone." Certainly we will talk as if we believe community is important. We write books about community, preach on it, study it, and do everything we can do to discuss it without having to live it out. We have personal Bible studies. We pray to our personal Lord and savior. We sing along to Christian radio stations when no one is around.

Now don't hear me say the things mentioned above are bad. They are quite the opposite actually. These are vital components to our spiritual journey with Jesus. However, if this is all we seek on our journey then we will be met with constant frustration and doubt.

Jesus consistently sought the solitude and silence of God's presence for spiritual nourishment. However, he was constantly in community with his disciples as he sought to go deeper into his relationship with his Father. Throughout scripture we see that our faith journey was meant to be done in community. Even when Jesus was at his lowest point and needed the solitude and silence of God's presence, he invited his disciples to join him in the garden for a time of prayer. Paul often discussed living our faith out in community. In 1 Corinthians 12 he tells the church that not everyone should have the same gifts. The spirit gives different gifts for the glory and majesty of God to be declared. And all the gifts, talents and passions are used in harmony by God to fulfill his divine prerogative.

I have to admit that as a minister there are times when this is difficult to follow. It is sometimes easier to do things on my own and execute them for a group of people. But I have come to believe that this cheapens the journey for those I am leading. I am short changing them of the power of community by ministering in this way. And so a change has been taking place in me as I view ministry in God's Kingdom in a community driven way. It is my job to develop a community of people who are committed to walking their faith journey together....with me right along side them.

This changes the way we approach leading ministry at our church. First, we preach out of community. This means that our content, study and preparation for preaching to a community is done in community. Second, we teach our House Church leaders to surface the passions, gifts and talents of their community and from that to form their vision and mission for their group. Third, we teach people to give up their individualism and embrace living as God's family. There are many more ways we try to connect people to each other in community but these should help to understand some of what we do.

The House Church we attend is led by two of our closest friends here in Nashville. This couple has a divine gift to create a community of love and acceptance with anyone and everyone they meet. They have a heart for their friends and family and for the people living in their neighborhood. Recently their neighbor's daughter was baptized at Ethos. The House Church they lead is far from perfect. And that is the point. The Boyd's have created a community where people are allowed to be who they were created to be by God. And together, in community, we navigate our faith journey, highlighting our different passions, gifts and talents so that we can increase our impact in God's Kingdom!

Life lived in community is exciting, fun, difficult, and sometimes painful. But it is the way that God intended his church to live. I cannot imagine what my life would be without my family. I cannot imagine what my relationship with Jesus would be without God's family that has walked with me as I learn how to dive deeper into the love, majesty, mystery, and character of God.

Raleigh Community Church

This past weekend Laura and I had the opportunity to attend a marriage retreat with the Raleigh Community Church in Memphis. We had a wonderful time spent relaxing, playing games, hanging out with friends, and most important, no kids. We love our girls a great deal but sometimes it is important to break away without them just so we can spend time alone. And this weekend provided us that opportunity.

It also provided me with the opportunity to preach, something I am finding I really enjoy doing. But the thing that I most enjoyed about this weekend away was to once again be encouraged by a wonderful group of people that I have come to truly love and respect.

As I look back over the last few years of our life it is easy to see the hand of God moving and directing us to move into places and contexts which have transformed us in different ways. Each place we have lived has provided us a new and unique opportunity for growth. And our time in Memphis certainly provided many of those growth opportunities.

Laura and I anticipated spending our time in Memphis in formal education. We were naive enough to believe that all we needed to be highly effective workers in God's kingdom was a "formal" education to accompany the vast (recognize the sarcasm) experience we had in practical ministry. We quickly learned that Memphis would be much more than just formal education. We saw where we wanted to be as Kingdom workers and where we were upon moving to Memphis. And the distance between those two seemed insurmountable.  So we began our journey of creating spaces where growth could occur.

We sought out ways to grow in our formal education, ability to connect to people around the city, ability to communicate and cast vision, love for people, ministry skills, and a general understanding of what it takes to build a church. We started a business which connected us to a wide range of people and provided us the opportunity to develop communication and vision casting skills. HST gave us the space to explore a formal education. But it was the Raleigh Community Church that provided us the opportunity to dive into our creativity and stretch our abilities and understanding of Kingdom work. And through their grace and patience we learned how to cross cultural barriers, develop ministry plans, create new ministries, reach into the heart of communities with grace and the gospel in hand, communicate Jesus to people who knew him but did not walk with him, connect people together to form community, and network with people from the city at large under a unifying vision of God's Kingdom work.

If you ask someone from the Raleigh Community Church what they feel like they offered Laura and I as young apprentices in Kingdom work you will probably get a wide range of responses. But I am certain that none will know fully the impact they have had on us in a pivotal moment in our lives. Certainly there were bumps and bruises along the way. But this church offered several important lessons that have become a foundation for our future. First, love and accept people because they are God's creation. Do not ignore cultural differences, but also do not allow them to hinder our ability to love and accept people as children of God. Second, provide space for people to grow. What we needed from Memphis had less to do with formal education and more to do with space to grow. This involved our formal education. But it was so much more than that. Raleigh helped provide that space where we could explore, create and be transformed by God's Kingdom. Third, we learned how to keep going. At times life can be a complete mess. This was certainly what we felt in Memphis. Laura and I were both pursuing M.A. degrees, started a business, worked as Apprentices at Raleigh Community Church, worked part time for a non-profit, had a baby and a 2 year old...all at the same time. You have to be completely insane to do this or have a community of people surrounding you that is providing what is needed to help you through. We went with community over insanity (although at times it felt like insanity). Raleigh was a big part of that community that surrounded us so we could accomplish what we did.

This past weekend was important for Laura and I because we were able to be near some of the people that made our time in Memphis so valuable, so great. We are so grateful for the Raleigh Community Church and the people who lead and serve there. They will forever have an imprint on our hearts. We are who we are in part because of their willingness to walk with us on our journey. Thanks Raleigh Community Church!

Ethos 5th Birthday

Ethos 5th Birthday

November 3rd marks a special day for the Ethos Church. We will celebrate our fifth birthday by worshiping together in Allen Arena on Lipscomb's campus. This is going to be an awesome celebration as we look back at the ways God has worked in and through us to reach every corner of Nashville. I can't wait to finally see everyone together in one place. Laura and I have been in Nashville for 1 year and have never had the opportunity to worship with our entire church family altogether. We eagerly await the moment we will look across a sea of faces, many we do not know, some who have become dear friends, all of whom are on a journey of faith in some way. Whether a person is there for the first time or hundredth time does not matter. Journeying with Jesus means making a decision to be curious about the wonder of God and surrendering to his work on and in us. Every Sunday we get the opportunity to worship alongside people who are curious and learning how to surrender. This doesn't mean we all are at the same mile marker along the way. It does, however, mean that God is alive and is working on the hearts of his people. November 3rd will be great because we will get to be together with our entire church family for the first time since we have been in Nashville. I think it is going to be a lot of fun!

The Hard Work of Being Still

"Be still and know that I am God..." (Ps 46:10)

These beautiful words have become ubiquitous in our Christian circles, but in the words of Inigo Montoya, "I do not think it means what you think it means." (Hey, what kind of a blogger would I be if I didn't quote the most quotable movie of all time?). We use it to create a state of peacefulness. Who can help but take a refreshing breath while a lazy smile creeps onto his/her face after hearing these charming words? It's used as a stress reliever in our overly busy lives. How convenient for us. We even have a beautiful song using those words, the tune of which exudes peacefulness. What a joy-filled, peace-inducing phrase. Right? I don't think so.

Being still is the hardest work you will ever do. Not a physical stillness, but a stillness that demands the inactivity of pride, a stillness before God that truly gives Him all authority, exaltation, and permission to work mightily as only the God of the universe can and as He wills. Glory! It may be somewhat easy to say, and to even shout 'Hallelujah!' after, but it is agonizing to do.

This post is going to be personal and raw for us, because this has been our life, our work, and our ministry for the past six months. Stillness. Stillness before God. I'm letting out a sigh right now, not a sigh of pleasant peace, but a sigh over the (hopefully) nearly completed hard work done in us during this time of stillness before God. I apologize for the length of this post, but since I frequent the blog world only about once a month, you can split it up and read a few paragraphs a week. Then maybe by the time you finish this post I'll have another (shorter) post ready :) It's important for me to write this though 1) so you can know what's going on with us and 2) as a necessary component of this oh-so-wondrous season of being stilled and humbled.

As most of you know we have a strong call to serve God in ministry to this world. We spent our first semester while Jared was at Harding School of Theology in focused prayer for direction in our ministry. From that time on we have been pursuing church planting in London. Our time during grad school was the busiest of our lives. During this time of insanity we saw God walking powerfully before us into work in Europe, opening countless doors since we had no excess energy to spend to help get there ourselves. From an encouraging survey trip in 2011 with clear direction, to wonderful support from White Station CoC and Kairos Church Planting, to friends and connections in the UK, to my schooling through the Uof Leicester... The path was being laid before us. We made the decision to step out on faith and to move our family to Nashville last year in the hopes of getting our last leg of valuable training with Ethos, a 2,000 member, four-year-old church plant working mightily for God in Nashville. After 3 months of a "getting to know you" period, we took on an official role with Ethos and were so excited to be actively en route to London and our future ministry there.

At literally the exact time that we became official planter apprentices with Ethos, we went on our second survey trip to London, and the boom hit. This trip was the opposite of our first survey trip. We dealt with negative feelings, closed doors, the realities of how much we can accomplish as Americans, and much more reserve from the British ministers. This kicked off a time of continually closing doors, uncertainty, and spiritual warfare. Obviously we've been wrestling with so many questions about whether this is God helping us change directions for the future or Satan working to prevent that ministry. At the precise moment that we thought we were actively heading into our ministry, we were asked to be still before God...

I cannot express how difficult it is to have an exciting vision become unclear and powerless. It has put us in a difficult position with fundraising, which has meant we get the added stress of dealing with limited finances through this time (brilliant). It's made things harder for our work with Ethos since we are unclear now what we are working toward. That's definitely not to say we have not been working. We've been working hard through all of this, both actively and joyfully with Ethos (hopefully we've been sharing this well through our newsletters) and on our own in an active state of stillness before God. Not a day has gone by when we have not worked ourselves into a sweat whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It has been a long, hard road to work ourselves into this active state of stillness before God. And I think both Jared and I will agree it's probably been the hardest six months of our lives. But, though no decisions have been made yet, we think we are coming close to working our way through to a clear and mighty vision for God's kingdom and our future work.

Here's some things we've worked through and concluded so far:

1. God has been leading us and we've been obediently following his guidance to get us to where we are now. We absolutely trust in what he was doing during our time at HST which led us here. Whether he intends to use this path to renew our vision for the UK or alter it for another work, we're unsure. But whatever we decide we won't feel like we've made the wrong choice or been disobedient to His call either now or in the past few years.

2. We have a heart for lost people and will work in ministry to them. If we don't go to London we will most likely do church planting stateside, probably somewhere in the Northwest.

3. We are working on seeing either decision in a positive light (I can't say we are necessarily there yet). For months we felt stuck in a lose/lose situation. On the one hand we could go to London and have a strenuous work ahead of us, isolated from family, spending years breaking into a proud culture, possibly seeing few results...or on the other hand we could change direction which would seem like starting over, failure, etc. Those negative feelings are not from God, and we have been trying to see both paths as positives. Exciting works for God's kingdom. What wonderful opportunities we have before us.

4. We could not have been in a better position to develop this practice of being still before God. The relationships we have made during this year have been priceless. We are so in love with our friends here and will treasure them our entire lives. Doing kingdom work alongside Ethos has been awesome. We are learning so much and being spiritually fed while watching countless people develop faith. We have learned from past difficulties how to cling to each other in tough times, so our relationship is beautiful. We could not have asked for more precious girls, and we have the joy of a wonderful baby boy on the way. Only through the work of the Holy Spirit can I say through this "agonizing" time, life is good!

5. As hard as it was to try to express how agonizing it can be to be still before God, it is even more difficult to help you understand the amazing things that happen when you learn to stay in that position. I'm just not good enough with words to do it justice. I can stutter out some words that come to mind: power, growth, strength, glory, lessons, peace (aha! there is peace in that phrase!). Through all the little lessons in life, I can name a handful of overarching life lessons that I learned during a phase in my life. One in high school, one in college, etc. I can count 4 of those major lessons from within the last 6 months alone, lessons that would normally take years to learn and meld into my life. Seriously, I could write a book.

6. Not only do good things happen in you when you dwell in the stillness of knowing thathe is God, but you invite him to work. You want to know an even better verse about being still before God? Zechariah 2:13 - Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling. Bam! Please tell me you are jumping out of your seat and shouting Hallelujah! at that thought of God rousing himself from his dwelling to be active among us. It sounds absurd to think that we don't already invite God's action, but I can honestly say I didn't fully do that before this time, and I think it's the same for a lot of Christians. Even if it's hard to admit, we limit God and invite him to partial works that fit our ideas (though they can still be awesome and miraculous). It's only natural. People in the bible fell on their face before God's angel in terror. How much more terrifying is it to have God himself come down and work powerfully? Let me just say, whatever decision we make about the future, I cannot wait to share with you what is to come because of the might and majesty of God that will come out of this moment in our lives. Glory to God!

Ethos has blessed us with a weekend away for spiritual renewal and vision casting. Tomorrow we will drop off our kids with some friends and head out to a cabin for two nights. I want to beg some prayers from you over this time. I don't know if we'll come back with a decision about our future work or not, but I trust this is going to be a powerful time in our spiritual and ministerial formation. I'm so excited and can't wait to share more with you about God's work in our lives. I hope each of you will have the (excruciating) opportunity to truly be still before God.

What is Our Story?

Several years ago I was discussing faith sharing with a friend of mine. This friend grew up in the church and lived, as he would have called it, the typical Christian life. When I asked if he had ever shared his faith story he responded that he had no story to tell. No story to tell? How could anyone walking in faith with Jesus not have a story to tell? What my friend was conveying is a response that I believe a lot of Christians have given. I too used to believe I had no story to tell.

As we begin to uncover some practical tools to help us make discipleship and evangelism a core part of our DNA it is helpful to begin with recapturing the vision of our own story. Many of us who have been followers of Jesus for a long time have forgotten the power of our own narrative in Christ. And we sometimes convince ourselves that our stories have nothing special to tell. I remember listening to people tell their stories in youth group or in college and I would be overwhelmed with the power of God to overcome some of the darkest moments in a person's history. But I would also feel a little let down because my story was not filled with such dramatic life changing moments as the ones I had heard. Have you ever felt that way? Like everyone else has a better story to tell than you? Then perhaps it is time to recapture the vision of your story.

The truth is everyone has a beautiful story to tell. Jesus doesn't reserve his love for those whose stories will prove best in our culture. And when we begin to follow Jesus our stories are no longer about us. They become a reflection of Jesus' story. A story of resurrection and life.  And that is a story worth being told.

If we do not have a deep sense of our own story in Jesus then the previous posts make little difference. However, a clear vision of the power of Jesus' story working in us will drive us into God's mission for his world.

How then do we begin to engage our world, our cities, our communities, with the story of Jesus? It would be easy to just give a list of things to do or say to try and help you become better at sharing your faith story and discipling others. However, I do not know every person's natural rhythm and context and therefore a list would not be very helpful. Instead I want to give a few tools that will help you explore ways to engage the people you interact with in your natural rhythm.

1. Intentionality rules the day. In my previous post I discussed that many of us allow our rhythms to pass by without actively engaging them. We walk through our day, moving from one thing to the next, without intentionally looking at what doors God has placed in those rhythms. There are three ways we can become more intentional in our natural rhythm.
        1. Intentionally Create Relationships: Think about how many people you see on a regular basis that you have never talked to, asked their name, waved high to, etc. Let's commit to intentionally creating relationships with the people who are moving with us in our natural rhythms (the barista at your local starbucks, the cashier at your grocery store, your landlord, your neighbor...). Begin creating a habit of introducing yourself to the people you see in your natural rhythm. Commit to meeting 8 new people this week simply to learn their names.
        2. Have Intentional Conversations: How many relationships do you have where all you discuss is the weather? Do you have friends and know nothing about their story? It is important to listen to people's story. Everyone has a beautiful story they are dying to tell. Will we be the kind of people that go to them and listen? Hearing people's stories begins with creating Intentional Conversation. One way of creating intentional conversations is by asking three types of questions: Polite questions, Interest Questions and Caring Questions. Polite questions are simple introductory questions such as, "How are you?" They initiate discussion. Interest questions take conversations a step further. They are questions such as "do you shop here often." This will help lower people's defenses and allow for safety in the conversation. The Caring Question shows that you care and are interested in hearing their story. It could be something like, "What can I pray about for you?"  
       3. Intentionally Disciple Others: We sometimes believe that discipleship will happen if a relationship is deep enough. We are too often content with allowing discipleship to happen accidentally.  However, we should learn to intentionally take people deeper into the heart of God. Intentional discipleship is key to helping people truly transform into the image of Christ. It could be as simple as beginning a Bible Study with a person or as intimate as taking a person on a spiritual retreat or mission trip. However, the key is that it is planned, intentional and is leading somewhere specific.  
2. 10 Second Rule. The 10 Second Rule is a book by Clare De Graaf in which he describes how most Kingdom decisions are made in a 10 second window. We drive by someone broken down on the side of the road or contemplate whether or not to share our story with a co-worker. If we do not make a decision to engage our natural rhythms in 10 seconds then we will typically allow the moment to pass us by. God is an expert at opening doors to us. Sometimes those doors remain open for long periods of time. However, many times those doors are open only briefly and it is up to us to decide if we will engage them. The 10 Second rule is not hard and fast, however, it allows us to engage our natural rhythms in a more intentional way. The next time you see someone broken down on the side of the road or the next time you are out with a co-worker, will you choose to use those moments to impact the Kingdom of God?
3. What do we have, Who do we know, How can we Help. Dave Clayton gave this as a challenge in a sermon a few weeks back and it has stuck with me ever since. It is a simple way of viewing your natural rhythms. It asks the question, "Do we have something to offer the people around us?" This question is answered both spiritually and physically/emotionally. What about our story can we offer the people around us? Are the needs of our neighbors spiritual or physical? When we begin to actively engage the people in our natural rhythms we begin to unveil the needs that are present. We learn that our neighbor just lost their grandparent or that the lady at the grocery store has been burned by church in her past. As we learn about the needs of those around us we can begin to ask the important question, "what do I have to offer that person?" Do these people need a home cooked meal? Do they need encouragement? Do we have these things to offer people? Let's become intentional about learning about the needs of the people around us so we can make the decision to engage those needs in a way that will show the Love Jesus has for them.

What other ways can we begin to engage our natural rhythms? How else might we develop the disciplines of evangelism and discipleship so that they become a part of our DNA? The three tools mentioned above are not the only ones out there. They are not hard and fast, however, they are meant to help us creatively engage the world around us. But even these tools will be meaningless unless we recapture the vision of our own story. We all have a beautiful story to tell. Now is the time to tell it.