Do I Need to Get My Mess Together?

I recently watched a movie called "The Judge." This movie stars Iron Man and Joseph Pulitzer from the 90s hit, "Newsies." And while the movie had good acting and a lot of dramatic themes, the thing that caught my attention was the very raw nature of the relationships being portrayed. The father-son tandem in the movie (played by Robert Duval and Robert Downey Jr.) are wading through the muck of a relationship that was filled with hatred, miscommunication, unmet expectations, rage, alcohol, vehicular manslaughter, divorce, death, handicapped siblings, and pain.

And as I was watching this movie unfold I began to realize that so many of us want so badly for the "Modern Family" relationship to look like what we see on ABC. And yet more often what it looks like is the family portrayed in this movie, "The Judge." And while many, I am sure, have not yet seen this movie, my guess is that many of us know exactly the kind of relationship dynamic I am describing.

Recently my sister wrote a blog describing how as followers of Jesus there is often an unwritten expectation on people's lives that says, "Get your mess together or get out." And how so often we have ignored a growing reality in the world around us. The reality that relationships are so much more messy than we are comfortable admitting. 

And while I do not want to rehash the content of my sister's blog, I do want to shed light on how we as followers of Jesus can turn the trajectory of our churches so that we are no longer running away from the reality of people's mess but are running toward it. Because what I think will happen as we start running toward people is we will begin to see the heart of Jesus forming, not only in them, but in all of us together. 

One of the things that is so hard about being a follower of Jesus is actually following him where he leads and who he leads us to. If you look at Jesus' life it is evident that Jesus attracted some of the most difficult people to himself. Over and over in scripture we see Jesus with people who were so hard to love. Jesus always seemed to attract the messiest people to himself. 

And this causes problems for us. Because if we believe Jesus is truly living inside us then we have to believe that the kinds of people who will be attracted to the presence of Jesus inside US are the same people who gravitated toward him in scripture....messy people. 

My first thought when watching a movie like "The Judge" that portrays people living in such dark places is to shake my head. I realize this is a completely human response where I am appalled that they would allow themselves to be overwhelmed with such hate, anger, bitterness, etc. And yet these people, with all their messy baggage, are the exact people Jesus was actively calling to himself. These were the people that Jesus attracted into his community. So what does that say about me? 

Following Jesus will inevitably lead us into uncomfortable situations with uncomfortable people. This is partially why Jesus sent the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to live within us. Because Jesus knew that the more we pressed into him the more we would be led to places where our comfort would be shattered by the mess of people's lives. 

This is why in Colossians 3 Paul talks about clothing ourselves with humility, gentleness, kindness, compassion and patience. He says in Colossians 3:13, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord Forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity."

Jesus assumes that our lives would be intertwined with people who resemble the family from "The Judge." He assumes that the entirety of our lives would be lived in such a way that the most difficult people, the hardest to love, the messiest people would gravitate to us. Not because we are such amazing people on our own, but because the presence of the Divine is living in us. And He, Jesus, has the ability to heal broken hearts, to mend relationships, to form beautiful community out of the ashes of people's lives. 

Jesus never called people to "get their mess together." This is the single most important thing you can hear me say. Jesus doesn't want you because you have your mess together. Jesus wants you because you were born. Because you exist. He wants you because he made you, mess and all. Jesus laid his life down on the cross of our mess so we wouldn't have to. Your mess has been cleaned up. And the role of people following Jesus is to stand in the gap and call people to Jesus. It is to go where Jesus goes which is always into the hearts of people who need him most. And certainly Jesus doesn't always remove the mess from our lives. Rather, he repurposes everything about our lives, so that within the mess we bring him glory.

My sister's blog was difficult for me to read because so often I am the person she was describing. So often I have been the one standing above people judging them for the messy lives they live. And yet I  have often been the one living in the mess of my own reality and the bumps and bruises of my life that once brought pain have been repurposed for God's glory. I am no longer defined by my mess because I have been given identity in Jesus who has moved me beyond the past. I am choosing to press into the invitation and challenge of Jesus' grace for me. The invitation to accept the free gift of love and identity in Jesus, and the challenge to embrace humanity in all its quirky wonder and crazy mess. Because I believe this is where the heart of Jesus longs to be. The more we press into Jesus and run where he leads, the more Jesus' heart will replace ours and form a people living in the beauty Jesus intended for them all along. And the more I will begin to see the world around me not as some cancerous plague of ridiculous living, but rather as an opportunity for the fullness of God to display His wonder and begin to heal a world bruised and beaten. Let's embrace God and watch....because the mess of humanity will be healed. 

Let's Leave the Mountain

It seems that the longer I am a follower of Jesus and the longer I spend pursuing Him, the more I find myself amazed at how little I actually understand the working of God in this world. But isn't this true about most things in life? Scientists who study the universe are consistently baffled at the perplexity of life. Economists are able to understand market trends...that is, until, those trends begin to change and fluctuate. Historians are constantly unearthing artifacts, homes, ancient remains that speak to a level of understanding that was previously unattained. The more that we as humanity dig into the things we care most about the more we realize how much further and deeper our understanding and love can reach.

It is this pursuit of depth, in all things, that makes us so uniquely equipped to follow Jesus into the richness of his grace and love. And yet so often depth is the one thing in life that we avoid. When we dig deep into relationships we leave ourselves vulnerable to pain. When we dive deep into work or sports or another activities we often find that these things leave us dissatisfied.

So, often times, to combat the negative "feelings" we perceive from going deeper, we change our tactics and reach for the "Mountain Top" experience. That experience that gives us the feeling of ultimate satisfaction and joy.  This is why it is so easy to be a "bandwagon" fan in sports. Instead of sticking with a team through difficult years, we abandon our allegiance in favor of the team that will give us the mountain top experience of being a winner. It is why we often abandon relationships when they get difficult, rather than probing the depths and realizing how deep our love can reach. But ultimately the mountain top is a brief moment of satisfaction that quickly fades away and casts us back into the "valleys" of life where relationships are difficult to navigate and our feelings often gravitate toward recreating that one moment of ultimate satisfaction and joy.

Christians have been unable to escape the trap of Mountain Top aspirations. Following Jesus can be one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable but often times it is difficult and uncomfortable. So we look for the Mountain Top experience as way of escaping the uncomfortable reality of following Jesus into the depths of God's heart.

Growing up I attended Church camps and Youth events throughout the summers that could be defined as "Mountain Top" experiences for me. I would leave the summer filled to the brim with a feeling of ultimate satisfaction and joy. And yet the moment I stepped off the mountain and entered into the world of the mundane I would find myself longing to recapture the Jesus I met on the mountain. I was desperately afraid of finding Jesus in the depth of my humanity because I knew that he would not bring the feelings of joy that I felt in the summers. I was being sustained in the "valleys" of life by recalling the "mountain top" experience.

Throughout scripture God used mountain tops to reveal himself in powerful and dramatic ways. Moses went up to the mountain and received a great revelation of God's presence. Elijah heard the whisper of God's voice on the mountain. And Jesus took Peter, James and John to the top of a mountain where a unique experience was given them. However, in all of these mountain top moments God calls his people to descend the mountain and enter the world of depth. If you read each of these moments you will see that God never intended for the mountain top to be the pinnacle moment for these men. It was never meant to be the bar by which their future encounters with God were measured. Rather, it is quite the opposite. God spoke and revealed himself in powerful ways from atop mountains so his people would leave the mountain and begin a journey of depth into the heart of God.

I have become convinced that mountain top experiences, although short lived, are a blessing provided by God to propel us into the depths of his richness. Hopefully we all have mountain top experiences with Jesus where he shows up in a powerful way revealing his majesty and glory. Where we feel connected to his Spirit and like we can conquer the world. However, if this is the only place we meet God, then we greatly short ourselves of the depth of love and grace we could experience in Jesus. The mountain was always meant to reveal God, not be the gold standard by which we measure the entirety of our relationship with him.

Each Sunday I go to a worship experience with nearly 2500 other followers of Jesus. This time of worship is a place where God shows up in a mighty way. Traditionally Sunday worship was used as the mountain top experience meant to sustain us through a week of being bombarded and beat up by the regular world around us. We took what we experienced on Sunday at the forefront of our minds as a way to help us think, "Only 3 more days and I will get back to the mountain." But what if Sunday worship was a reflection of the depth of our journey with Jesus throughout the week? What if we showed up on Sunday full of the depth of Jesus love and grace and used that to propel us into an experience with God? How would this change the way we worship on Sunday? I tend to believe it would dramatically increase our worship to create a true mountain top experience that would invite us to leave the mountain and probe the depths of God throughout the week.

Currently we live in Nashville and work at the Ethos Church as embedded Church Planters. We are in the process of building a team to help us plant churches in Seattle that will reveal the presence of God to that city. As I think about how to create moments where people can enter into the presence of God, I am realizing that the only way I could ever lead a movement of God in that city is to leave the mountain and enter into the depths of the richness of God's grace and love. This means probing the depths of my own humanity and uncovering the parts of my life that have been hidden from God's presence. Humanity has a desire for depth that has largely been untapped. I long to see Seattle experience the mountain top of God's beauty and presence so it can descend and begin a journey that will never be quenched and ultimately will lead into a never ceasing search for the depths of God's grace and love.

What We Have Learned...

Two years ago when I started this blog I had every intention of using it as a means of sharing our life in ministry more so than a simple blog on theological matters. I realize it has now become more of a blog centered on the theological ramblings of a young follower of Jesus. However, I would like to get back to the original intention of this blog and begin a series of posts that will shed light on our life of ministry here in Nashville and how it connects to our future work of planting a church in Seattle.

For the past couple years we have been a part of a remarkable work of God in the city of Nashville.  I am not sure if you realize this but "the Church" is simply a group of people in love with God, being used BY God, to fulfill His purpose of filling the earth with His glory. I know that was a mouthful. But it is so important as we talk about the "work" we are involved with here, in Nashville, as well as in Seattle. Because the moment we make this work about US...about ME....about my ability to do amazing things in the Kingdom of God, we lose everything God intended to come from our time and energy. Namely, we lose the focus on Jesus.

And so for the last two years we have been a part of the working of God in Nashville through a church called Ethos. And we have had two tasks this entire time. To love God and to love people. The story of the gospels is so undeniably simple. To love God, by loving Jesus, and to love people, by showing them the way to Jesus. Pretty simple. But so often we try to complicate everything to the point that we forget what we were supposed to be doing in the first place. In Luke 10:27 Jesus says that the greatest commands are to Love God and Love Others. And if we do this well...if we can get this part down, the rest will begin to fall into place.

Now, certainly there is complexity to starting a church. There is complexity in building ministries. There is complexity in the fabric and DNA of humanity. It is complex to start teams of people and to lead them with a singular focus. It is a lot of work to train leaders to lead House Churches, to lead Regional House Churches, to lead a complex music ministry, to pastor people in the midst of their life baggage, to constantly be casting vision and moving forward, to discipling people who are discipling people who are discipling people, to fund raise, to plan and build strategies for the future, to communicate with thousands of people, to maintain administrative upkeep, to.....on and on and on.

But the complexity must always flow out of the simple reality that this is Jesus' church, it is by God's initiative, and it is the grace of God that made the first move on behalf of the world. There is not an ounce of power in my bones that has the ability to save one human being from anything. But there is someone within me who has the power to redeem not just me but the entire world through me. And it is my job to point people to him and him alone.

These last two years I have been on a tremendous journey. Learning more than I could possible write about here. But the most important thing I have learned has nothing to do with some complex strategy or theory for planting a successful church in Seattle. Instead, the most important thing I have learned has been simply to rest in the presence of Jesus because I am loved, beyond measure, by him.

The next few posts will unwrap this further, shedding light into what this means as we build a foundation for our church plant in Seattle.

Let's raise our expectations of God

It is amazing how much can happen in three months. May was the last time I wrote a blog and it feels like a life time has passed since that day. Since May there has been political unraveling, social chaos, religious unrest and so much more. And in the midst of the all that has unfolded in the world I find myself more confident than ever that God is truly alive. That Jesus is very much making a difference in people's lives. And that God's Kingdom vision is becoming more real each and every day.

You may ask how I can see God's vision coming into reality in the midst of all that is taking place around us. And the answer is quite simple actually. I have come to expect much of God. This is in no way an arrogant expectation rooted in a self-centered desire to have more of myself. But rather, I am learning that my expectations of God's ability to bring his reality into our reality, to make our story apart of his story, to bring peace in the midst of chaos and pain, has greatly increased over these last few months.

There are countless people in the world, both now and in the past, who have accomplished amazing things in God's Kingdom. I think about Tim Keller and what God has done through him in New York and beyond. Or Billy Graham who had a vision of preaching in stadiums around the world. He eventually would preach to nearly 215 million people around the world. On a smaller, but no less significant scale, Elisabeth Elliot was a part of a mission team attempting to make contact with a tribe in Ecuador to preach the gospel. Upon making contact, the tribe killed five of the men on the team, one being Elisabeth's husband. Elisabeth later returned to the tribe who killed her husband, leading many to a relationship with Jesus. I think about people at Ethos who have committed their lives to creating companies, organizations, and ministries that are impacting people all over the world. And it makes me think about my good friends here in Nashville who are impacting their neighborhood with the power and presence of Jesus through consistent service and love.

The thing that all of these people have in common, the ones who have accomplished much in God's Kingdom, is that they expected much of God.

We often allow the limitations of our own reality to dictate our expectations of God's reality. This causes us to have very low expectations of what God will accomplish through us. However, God has never placed His action in the world on the limitations of His people. Rather, He has always placed His action in the world on the unlimited resources of Heaven given through his son Jesus.

This is quite possibly the most important thing we need to fully embrace. Our limitations will never limit the unmatchable resources of Heaven given to Jesus, by God, for the advancement of God's reality into the reality of humanity.

So much of my life has been lived in a reality of low expectation regarding God's action in the world through me. The way I would go about evangelism, ministry, pastoring, or simply any day to day activity, was hindered by my low expectation of who God is. I would try to compensate by doing more and more. By agonizing over how to craft the perfect sermon. I would make the most simple function an effort in futility because I felt like I needed to move it forward with my own strength.

What I have been learning over the past few months is that a low expectation of God typically leads to a high expectation of self. When we lower our vision of God and his action in the world we tend to raise our own ability, which always leads to frustration, burnout, and typically little fruit.

However, the more we raise our expectation of God the more simple our job becomes. Our preaching becomes about pointing people to the story of Jesus, knowing that people's acceptance of that story rests in God's hands, not mine. Our words in pastoring, in ministry, become fewer as we allow God's presence to soak into people's hearts rather than a beautifully crafted argument. We begin to have peace in our day to day lives because we realize that the transformation of neighborhoods and communities is not dependent on me alone, but rather, on the resources of Heaven being used by Jesus through me. It becomes about simply putting ourselves into the path of humanity and allowing the best of God within us to be given to the people around us.

As Laura and I work to build a foundation for our church that will be planted in Seattle, we are beginning to raise our expectations of what God will do in that city through us. But not simply Seattle, we are raising our expectation of how God will use Ethos to be a part of His work in Seattle as well. We are raising our expectation of how God will bring gifted people together to move with us to plant this church he is building. We are raising our expectation of God's ability to break through the barriers that a culture like Seattle has built to keep God out. We are raising our expectation of God to awaken an entire city to the Covenant he is inviting them into. We believe that God is planting a Kingdom seed in the heart of an entire city to one day rise up and be a catalyst for the redemption of the world. We believe God will release hearts that are captive. That he will bring peace to the hurting, to those whose lives have buckled under the pressure and oppression of life. And that he will reveal His word to be true, relevant to raise people's lives to freedom, and create the kind of community that attracts the world to it.

This is our expectation of what God will do through us in Seattle. There is no way we will ever accomplish this on our own. Praise God that His Kingdom is in no way contingent upon my abilities. But through Jesus in me I believe God will do more than I could ever ask or imagine.

Do have low expectations of God? Raise your expectations of God and watch as the majesty of his presence begins to shape the world around you into the world he imagines it to be.

Celebrating My Brother: 4 Years Later

I have often thought of myself as someone who is forward thinking and does not spend huge amounts of time looking back. Looking back can cause nostalgia which is not bad unless you live the entirety of your life wishing you could relive past experiences. Forward thinking people are always looking at how past experiences will shape their future. This is how I have tried to view my life experience, as limited as it may be at 28 years old. The things that have happened in my life up to this point should help propel me into the person that I am daily becoming.

Often when people look at their lives they tend to view their personal experience two ways: Resentment or celebration. We celebrate the day we were born or an anniversary because those life experiences caused joy. We tend to resent the moment where we lost a job or where we got into a car wreck because these moments caused pain.

So, today, this week, and really for the last four years, I have been asking myself a question. What do we do with death? Is it a celebration or resentment moment?

Four years ago, this weekend, my brother died. I have literally been in a fire that consumed my body, and yet the pain that I felt when my brother died went far beyond that day in the fire. I never wanted to be the person who wrote publicly about my brothers death because I didn't want that attention on myself. But the past year has shaped how I am perceiving this moment in my life and I must share.

Did you know that resentment will harden your heart. If you resent your neighbor because of a wrong they caused, your heart will be hardened and forgiveness will never be a reality. If you resent your boss your heart will be hardened to him as he leads. If you resent people who resent you then reconciliation will never happen. If you resent Jesus then peace will not take place.

I did not realize until this year how much I resented my brother dying. And in my shame it has caused my heart to remain in a place of brokenness that I have, until this moment, been unable to speak of. I have blamed God for so much and have not understood how it has effected every aspect of my life. My unwillingness to move beyond feelings of resentment have caused my heart to harden in ways that I am only now becoming aware.

See, resentment causes us to cling to our failures and disappointments. It causes shame. It causes pain. It causes us to say things like, "I should have done more." Or, "What if I had done 'this' differently? Then maybe it would be different now." And let me say with confidence and truth...resentment is not from God.

I didn't realize until this year that resentment is from Satan. And he is a master at using it to hold our hearts captive to the pain it causes.

But I have heard a sound, coming on the wind. Changing hearts and minds. Healing brokenness. And his name is Jesus.

Did you know there is a power greater than death? You thought that death was the thing that halts everything didn't you? Not true. There is a power that death cannot stop.

I am a life long believer in Jesus and I am only now beginning to comprehend the power of his Resurrection. Did you know that Jesus' resurrection gives us the freedom to look at our lives through the lens of Celebration? Its true! We no longer have to look at our story with resentment and pain. I am finally freed from the resentment my heart has been clinging to since my brother died. You wanna know why? Because there will come a day when I will get to see him again. And that is something to celebrate.

Three years ago Laura and I chose that when the anniversary of James' death came around we were going to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death. Every year this day would come and go without much celebration. Certainly we would talk about James. We would make ourselves feel like we were celebrating his memory. But my heart wouldn't allow me to fully celebrate. I was only able to fake celebration.

But here we are...just days away from that day that has been etched in our hearts. And I am finally free. Finally ready to celebrate the difficult, messy, strange, beautiful and crazy life my brother lived. See, I don't have to sugar coat his life. There were ugly moments. And there were unbelievably beautiful moments. But never again will I let this day scar my heart. The brokenness I felt is being pieced back together because I have a savior who has conquered the thing I feared the most. Death no longer has a victory in my life. Death no longer carries a sting. And that is something to celebrate!